You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
