Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
