I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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