Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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