Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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