are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
