you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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