Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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