Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize
