It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
