Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize