Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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