I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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