Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize
