she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
