thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
