Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
as a side note pls kill me
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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