You really coming over, don't trick.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
