YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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