This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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