its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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