I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
