so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
