The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
