I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
