will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
