very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
