I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
