Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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