I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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