I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
