Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
