Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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