We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize