he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
