Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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