My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
