what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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