dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
