So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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