think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
