Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
