Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
