I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
