Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
