im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
