Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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