last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
