If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i came on her dog
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
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