you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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