Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Maybe he injected his testicle?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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