Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
