I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You took a bar mat shot.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
