He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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