Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she looked like the before picture.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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