So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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