im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
