FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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