I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
